The baby lies
by livelearnandwrite
Summary: How does Katniss react as President Coin and Plutarch Heavensbee decide to present her as a mockingjay who has just lost her baby? Will she find comfort in Finnick's good humor?


**The Baby Lies**

You would think I have just handed them the moon, no President Corionalaus Snow's head, the way Alma Coin, District 13 leader, and Plutarch Heavensbee, former Head of Game Makers grin from ear to ear. The reason for them being so disturbingly happy is the fact that I have just sealed an agreement to be their mockingjay, a favor I have to pay for the rescue effort for Peeta and other hunger games victors held by the capitol in retaliation with the quarter quell disaster. They talk animatedly about how they would present me in a series of propos shot to rally support for the revolution from distriscts across Panem.

Today as I perform as charming as a "dead slug", an old joke Haymitch addressed me due to my poor performance during the 74th hunger games interview preparation, in front of the camera for a propo shot in a studio just below Coin's office, Coin and Plutarch once again talk in a heated argument on how to handle the situation.

I pretend to follow their argument before getting bored and shift my eyes on the ceiling. How i find the dull cream ceiling more and more interesting these days is a mistery. Well it is a beauty compared to Coin's monotonous talk and Plutarch's ever present grins. When I can not take it anymore, I decide to walk out of the door and hide in the storage room to take a nap. Soon I drift off to sleep but before long, I am as usual tortured by nightmares.

At first, Peeta and I are at the cornucopia, munching on roasted rabbit legs while watching silently as Rue is assaulted by a number of mutts. The next, I feed Peeta some nightlocks by mistake and he dies peacefully in my arms the moment the berries reach his stomach. And just before I wake with a start, I choke Caesar Flickerman to death with my wings from my mockingjay dress. Eventually, I give up sleeping and go back to the room I share with Prim and my mom.

The next day sometime after lunch, Boggs pick me up and escort me personally to Coin's office. Great now I have a personal guard to keep me from wandering in the storage room like a madwoman, I think darkly. I actually would prefer a golden retriever to an intimidating and sour-looking high ranking soldier. I even think about recruiting Buttercup or Lady (Prim's cat and goat respectively) as my personal guard. But of course I am not entitled to such luxury.

As I knock on the door, Coin gives me a nod and beckon me to sit on a wooden chair in front of her and Plutarch. Much to my surprise...and well relief, Haymitch is standing by the window fidgeting, probably because there is not a drop of alcohol in his system. His forced sobriety is somehow amusing no entertaining. I wonder if Effie feels the same way too. After all, she knows him long before I do. At some point during Victory Tour, I even suspected she secretly had a crush on him. I make a mental note to tell Haymitch about my suspicion after this. I can not wait to see his irritation. He would probably swear he would rather take a honking goose as a lover than a fussy capitol woman with bright pink hair.

Coin gives a small cough to call for our attention. After giving me a glance-over, she greets me, "Good morning Soldier Everdeen, Plutarch and I had a long discussion about our newest situation. And in order to help you to act naturally during the propos, we decide to send you to district 8 which was bombed a few days ago. Don't worry the situation is perfectly under control, or we wouldn't think twice about letting our precious mockingjay step the ground." I just nod and smile. What else am I going to do now that Peeta and other victors' safety depends solely on my being compliant with their demands.

Haymitch's forehead is furrowed. I can tell he is not too happy wih the idea. "We can't send her there. Not when people think she's pregnant with Peeta's child. We can't put her and the baby's life in danger. What makes us different from the capitol who send a pregnant woman in a quarter quell?", Haymitch replies hotly.

Coin and Plutarch give one of their winning smiles at exactly the same time, you would think they are identical twins. "We have thought it through Haymitch. We are going to let people know that Katniss lost your baby due to extreme physical exertion during the quell. It's that simple.", Coin said matter-of-factly. "And it would bring people to see more tragedies in you, which in turn will strengthen their sympathy and support for the mockingjay and revolution", Plutarck winks playfully. "Nobody needs more tragedies, Plutarch, watch your language there", said Haymitch furiously.

My jaw drop to the floor. Perfect, tragic me. More tragedies, as if I have not had enough of them. I have to fight the urge to jump off the table and strangle Coin and Plutarch one by one with my bare hands. I glance at Haymitch, who gives me a sad smile while still debating with Plutarch. Before I know it, I storm out of the door fuming and bolt to my room. I slam the door shut and slump on the floor in the corner of the room.

I know Peeta and I faked everything.. Our secret marriage and baby. But I surprise myself by feeling devastated when Coin and Plutarch suggested that I lost the baby like it is of no importance. I hug my feet to my chest and disolve into a sob. This is too much. I have lost Peeta. Now they want me to act like I have just lost our baby. I pat my belly and feel sorry for the non-existent baby. All these weeks i wonder if I wish i took another level in our relationship and really got pregnant with his child. I still have mixed feelings about the matter - marriage and children. Will I marry someone like Peeta and have his chikdren when there is no more hunger games? Will I ever be truly committed in a relationship when I am too scared to love someone?

I finally give up thingking and go to Finnick's room as I don't feel like talking about it with my mom or Prim. I knock on his door twice before his voice call me in. He is smiling sheepishly and pat a space on the mattress beside him. I see him tying some knots with a rope for distractions. "Worrying about Annie?", I ask him about his girlfriend who is captured along with Peeta and Johanna in the capitol. "Yes. As so are you with Peeta", he replied morosely. "So tell me, girly, is there anything else bothering you? You can tell me anything, you know", he adds carefully before giving me a deadly wink. Women in the capitol would kill each other just to hear his voice and receive a wink. Several years after being crowned as a victor, President Snow force him to accompany some wealthy women of the capitol and threaten to hurt his girlfriend, Annie Cresta who is also a victor, along with their family if he refuse. We, victors, have actually never been out of the games.

"They, Plutarch and Coin, want to present me as a tragic mockingjay who has just lost a husband and our unborn baby in the quell. I was surprised I feel offended", I mutter. Finnick just stares at me sadly. "I know why you feel that way. You miss Peeta and worry about his safety, while those two act like he is of no importance to you and that's why losing his baby is not a big deal too", he said. "They have never been good with words, Katniss. And they have wasted what very little brain they have to plot an impressive war to bring Snow down", he adds smugly.

"Thank you, Finnick. I know you are the only one who will embrace every opportunity to insult them just fir my entertainment", I said thankingly. "So what's your grand plan for revenge?", he asks pretending to be dead serious. "Haha..I think I need sometime to calm my nerves. I will try to see them again tomorrow. I have to do it so that Peeta, your Annie, and Johanna would be rescued. That's the deal. I can't back off now just because they are being brainless and acting like assholes", I replied in a matching serious tone. "Just so you kniw, girly, I am more than willing if you need help with insulting or even avenging those assholes. Or may I offer you some kind of "comfort" too?", he droops his eyelashes seductively as he says the last word. I laugh hard and push him away, "Not in a million years, Finnick. Oh why don't you offer it to Coin or evevn Plutarch?", I wink at him as I walk out of his door. I hear him snort in disgust. "Now now girly. Who d'you think I am. I have an image to uphold, you know that", he answers while pumping his chest indignantly. Finnick and his good humour is one thing that keeps me sane while waiting helplessly for news about Peeta.

I go back to my room and decide to lie down. My mom and Prim are still down in the hospital wing working in long shifts. Sleep does not come easily tonight. Soon after I drift off, I am once again having to endure nightmare after nightmares. I dream about the last interview in which Peeta told the audience we have married secretly and that I am pregnant with his baby. As he reach for me after the interview, I see that tears strem down his face. Only this time, they turn to blood and Peeta's white tuxedo was dripping wet hot red blood. The next, I work with Rue to drop hundreds and hundreds of tracker jacker nests on sleeping Peeta. And then I work with Cato, taking turns to stab Peeta again and again with a sword.

I wake with a start as I make out the sound of knockings on my door. "Soldier Everdeen, it's Boggs. Your presence is required in President Coin's office now. Do not worry, soldier, you do not need to feel embarrassed. We understand you and Peeta need to do anything to survive including lying about your pregnancy." I just nod in general direction without making any move to the door. After a while, Boggs gives up and walks away.

So that is it. They think I am embarrassed because they know about the baby lies when in fact I feel offended for a very different reason. Surely those rebellion leaders have no time to wait for an unstable teenager with fake marriage and pregnancy to sit and wallow all day. They want to get down to business as soon as possible. I can not get my hopes up that they will show some compassion to me. Not to a 17 year old no one who is accidentally stuck with them as their some kind of mascott in the much awaited war.

I am too exhausted to confront them now, to shout in their faces that I am more than a piece in their games. So I succumb to another sob and curl into a ball on the bed while holding Peeta's last gift for me in the quell. The pearl from the beach near the cornucopia. I miss him and his scent of dill and cinnamon. I take a deep breath and stop crying. I can't afford being weak if I want him back safe and sound along with the other victors.

Tomorrow, I will deal with Coin and Plutarch. Then maybe I have to see Finnick again afterwards to release any resentment by pretending to plot a revenge of throwing rotten eggs and tomatoes at Coin's hair and dumping ice cold coffee on Plutarch's head. He loves coffee after all and I bet he has never wash his hair with it. I imagine how it would feel and smile at the thought.


End file.
